The World’s Worst Invention

August 9, 2006 – 3:08 pm |

There was a time when I could choose a grocery store or shopping venue by considering its selection and quality of items. I could examine the price-to-value ratio of toiletries and the freshness of produce before choosing where to spend my hard-earned dollars. I could mull over my route from work to home and determine which establishment would be the most efficient and convenient stop on the way.

Those days of smart shopping are gone. The only factor in my life now: What kind of carts do they have? Do those carts accommodate small children, and do they do it in a way that will lend to a peaceful and quick shopping experience? Attention store marketing people: You can charge twice as much for your groceries if you provide shopping carts with little two-seated cars underneath.

On the other hand, if you are going to offer the worst invention ever – you should be forced to give away your groceries. What is the worst invention ever? Miniature carts for the kids to push around the store.

I dragged the troupe in for a “quick stop at the store” this morning, and they spotted them immediately. This was exciting. We were all aflutter. “Mom, we can help you.” It will be so fun. Though I recognized the potential for disaster immediately, there was no turning back.

And so it began – during our fifteen minute excursion we had: one cart tipped over and spilled as a result of a hasty attempt at cornering; two major meltdowns over who “won” the cart race from the hamburger to the milk; three very painful run-ins with my Achilles; and several pitiful glances that spoke “how many children does she have anyway?” and “why can’t she keep them under control?” The result? A highly stressed-out mommy with one less place to shop.