The Go Fast Boats Go Oh So Fast.

August 13, 2006 – 11:34 pm |

I had a date this weekend. A real, honest-to-goodness get-a-sitter-go-out-to-a-movie date. We wanted a movie that was for grown-ups, perhaps rated R, but nothing too draining of emotional energy. My husband had already seen Ricky Bobby…and he loves me, but I think the dance movie was out of the question…So we saw Miami Vice.

What does it say about the movie (or perhaps about me) that I laughed through pretty much the whole thing? I couldn’t help it. I just kept getting the giggles.

First, there were the lines like this:

“Those boats,” says Isabella, the hot drug lordess, in a sexy eye lock with Crockett, pointing at the boats (that are apparently actually CALLED GO-FAST BOATS) “How fast do they go?”

“Fast” responds Crockett “They Go Fast.”

Then they hop into the boat and cruise off to Havana where Isabella (who must keep spare outfits and cute pairs of earrings in her purse so she can change when she runs into hotties who whisk her away) knows someone who makes a great Mojito. (Which works out well because apparently Crockett is a “fiend for a Mojito.”)

Then there is the repeated rhyming of the words ‘crime’ and ‘time’: (e.g. “If we don’t do time with you, we don’t do crime with you.” And “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”)

Despite my giddiness and giggling (likely due in large part to simply being out of the house) I actually thought it was a good movie. It refrains from the campiness of movies like Dukes of Hazzard and Starsky and Hutch, and it tributes the TV show in an authentic and updated way. Like the series, the plot is vague and the dialogue is cheesy, but the stars are pretty and the action’s intense. And …well, if you don’t take it too seriously, you just might have some fun.

The only question I’m still struggling with… Does Farrell’s hairdo in the film count as a mullet?