Sick Kid Trump – Rulebook and Examples

October 14, 2009 – 1:43 pm |

“I doubt this is going to clear up by Monday,” I said to my husband on Saturday afternoon, as I laid the back of my hand on my daughter’s fevered forehead for the 5th time in as many minutes and tucked her under her fort of blankets on the couch.  “Let’s just see how it looks tomorrow,”  he sighed, unready to consult the Blackberry and start hammering out our “Sick-Child Back-Up-Care Chart” for the week.

One of the unfortunate consequences of having both parents  work outside the home is the struggle to determine who will miss work to stay home with the sick kid.  It starts to feel like an elaborate negotiation – full of rules, guidelines …  and trump cards.

When Sunday morning arrived, preceded by another night of restless sleep, spiking temperature, and coughing, I broached the topic again while pulling the thermometer from 6’s pallid cheeks.  “Still 102,”  I said, glancing toward Hubs’s Blackberry, and offering two more purple chewable Motrin tablets to 6.  “She’ll probably sleep it off,” he responded, slow to accept the ramifications of family illness.  “We should have a back-up plan now, though, don’t you think?” I said. 

And so it begins – the sophisticated game of Sick Kid Trump. 

Sunday Afternoon

Hubs: Begrudgingly Consulting Blackberry:  Three meetings …  I can put one off until Tuesday morning, take the other two as conference calls and put in a movie.   But I didn’t bring my computer home this weekend.  I’ll have to drive downtown tonight to pick up my computer. … In the Twins Play Off Game AND Taylor Swift Concert Traffic.  You?

Well-played.

Me: Cheerily Checking Google Calendar Because It Completes Me: No class (usually an almost automatic loss for me).  A student meeting, but I could reschedule that one (because Lord knows they always do).  But then, just as I am about to concede  … I do have a meeting in the afternoon with the same committee I bailed on last week when 4 was sick. They don’t have conference capabilities.

Winner:  Me.   Rule:  Can’t miss a meeting with people you had previously canceled on because of a sick kid.  Here, the double cancellation trumps the downtown traffic.

Monday Afternoon

Me:  How’s it going?  Is she better?
Hubs: She’s fine as long as she’s on the Motrin, but when she doesn’t have it, she spikes again.
Me: What do you have going tomorrow?
Hubs:  Let’s just see what she does this afternoon without Motrin.
This approach again?

3 hours later

Hubs:  I don’t think she’s going to make it to school tomorrow.
Me:  I have class. (Usually an automatic trump!)
Hubs:  I already have Thursday off because school’s closed on Thursday.  I can’t miss tomorrow, too. (Multiple days in one week – huge advantage)
Me:  But I have class. (Not sure why this isn’t working.)
Hubs:  Plus, I missed that meeting yesterday. (Sometimes negotiating with a person whose job title is something like “Senior Negotiator” gets frustrating.)
Me: …but…I…have…Class.
Hubs:  I know, but that guy’s only in town for two days.
Me:  I can see if I can find someone to sub.

Winner:  Hubs  Rule:  This was a close round, but Hubs employs good technique, plus with the out of town colleague and several days already off in the week, he ends up slightly ahead here.

Tuesday Afternoon

Hubs:  What did the doctor say?
Me:  As suspected she has “flu-like symptoms”, no infections, and she appears to be on the mend.
Hubs:  Good.  Poor thing needs to get back to school.
Me: But doc said she needs to stay home for one more day because her temperature is still over 100.
Hubs: Sighs. (Also, Coughs.)
Me:  I have nothing on the calendar, just the bazillion things I need to do. I can work from home.

Winner:  Draw.  Rule:  When you really can make it happen, you need to; it builds goodwill for future rounds and, well, makes good sense.

You get the idea.  Over the course of the last few days though, I have wondered, as I often do when I am bouncing around in this mad mothering world - just what it is I am trying to win?   On Tuesday afternoon, cuddled up over the lunch hour watching Hannah Montana: The Movie with my daughter while she ate her scrambled eggs and toast (just like my mom used to make),  I was sure I was the winner.  Six hours later, I would have paid my husband to let me get out of the house for a few hours, even if it meant sitting through a “New Hockey Parent” meeting (which it did!).

Happy “illness with flu-like symptoms” season, folks.  Here’s wishing you healthy days and, in the alternative, clear calendars!