Mom Gets A Poor Performance Review.

March 9, 2007 – 12:34 pm |

A good calendaring system is imperative to working as a lawyer.  If you miss a filing deadline, there are consequences.  If you’re late to a hearing – consequences.  And the consequences can be brutal: Default judgments. Angry judges.  Upset clients. Malpractice. Suspension.  Termination.   Luckily, thanks to good calendaring systems, good assistants, and my own highly-developed internal sense of organization, I have never blown a deadline.  At least, not in my work as a lawyer.

This morning I picked up my daughter from pre-school, as I do every Tuesday and Thursday morning.  Normally, when she’s dismissed, she runs toward me, arms out, poised for the hug, “MOMMMEEEE!!!” she squeals with glee. 

Normally.

Today as the teacher dismissed her, she walked slowly toward me, shoulders hunched, eyes down, arms limply at her sides.  Instead of the usual enthusiastic hug, she brushed by me, hefting her shoulder toward me and nearly knocking me backward with the size of the chip upon it.  In my mind’s eye, I caught a quick glimpse of the teenage years. I swiftly pushed the vision from my mind.

“What’s the matter, Crabby Patty?” I asked her.
“DON’T call me Crabby Patty.” 

Clearly her sense of humor was gone.  ”That’s okay,” I thought, giving her a moment.

As we packed up her school papers, I tried again.  “Did you have a good day today?  Who was the VIK?”   (At my children’s pre-school they have a V.I.K every day: a Very Important Kid. The V.I.K. gets to do things like be the line leader, work on the computer and, most importantly, bring the treat for the day.) 

At this question the anger began to bubble furiously out of her.  “I was the VIK,” she spit at me venomously, ”and YOU forgot to send the treat!” The word ‘you’ hung in the air dripping with disgust.

I laughed inwardly.  (As I noted above, I have a tremendous internal sense of organization.  I don’t miss important dates and deadlines.) “No, honey,” I replied lightly. ”You weren’t the VIK today.” 

She looked at me crossly and heaved her backpack over her shoulder. “Yes. I. Was.” she said confidently.  ”I was the line-leader, and I played on the computer, and I got to do the weather calendar.”

In my family, coming to grips with our own errors takes us some time.  We started walking toward the car, and I plodded on in ignorant denial. “The VIK must have been gone today, honey, they must have just let you stand in,” I said with diminishing assurance.  “NO!!” she shrieked, now very near tears ”It was MEEE!”

Nothing to do at this point but admit it regardless, I thought, as I helped her into her seat.  But, still in denial, I needed proof.  I buckled her in and ran back into school to check the calendar.  There it was in black and white.  She was the VIK. I grabbed the teacher and started mumbling my apologies.  She reassured me, but also shared that my daughter raised her hand during class and asked “What happens if you’re the VIK and you didn’t bring a snack?” 

Back in the minivan, humbled, I apologized repeatedly, and then we drove for awhile in silence.  After a few moments, I tried again.  “Did you get to play outside today?” I asked sweetly. 

Bad Move.

“I had to wear the snowpants out of the cupboard. These aren’t my snow pants.  YOU FORGOT MY SNOWPANTS, TOO.”

Apparently I am going to need an assistant or a better calendaring system.  Turns out the consequences are pretty brutal on this track, too.