I hate myself for loving you.

October 12, 2007 – 3:54 pm |

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve been having an affair of the heart. I feel like such a cliche. It started at my gym a week or so ago. First off, let me explain. It’s not like I was out looking for something new or exciting. I understand the importance of consistency and stability in our relationship. And, obviously, it’s important for the kids as much as us.  I never meant for this to happen. I think we get so bogged down in the day-to-day, that sometimes our lustfulness and desire just sneaks up on us. At least, that’s what happened to me.

I was at my fitness club, decked out in my sweats, sans make-up, messy ponytail.  I dropped the  kids at the child center and headed up to the treadmills.   I was just outside the center door when I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks.  I can’t remember the last time I was gripped  by such intense desire, such unfulfillable need, such covetous lust.  And, oh, oh, how I covet this.  

What’s your secret longing?