Cupcakes Even a Fembot Would Love

October 29, 2007 – 7:39 pm |

I bring some gifts to the parenting table.  Unfortunately for my children, neither crafting nor cooking are among them.  Projects that combine the two leave us all cold and hungry.   I want them to learn these things. I’m just not the best person to teach them.  In fact, I’d rate my artistic talent just slightly lower than my math and science aptitude. 

Nevertheless, when holidays approach, guilt usually drives me to attempt projects I normally avoid.   Today, in honor of Halloween, we made “monster cupcakes.” 

It appeared to be a simple project: mix together cupcake batter, pour into a muffin tin, drop in a Hershey kiss and bake.  After they cool, you frost them.  Then, using assorted  candies you create scary faces (or, in the case of my kids, you create a sugary treat topped by piles more of sugary treats). Sounds easy enough.

Because it was a Halloween project, the task required orange frosting.  According to the recipe, in order to create a bright pumpkin shade of orange frosting, one simply combines red and yellow food coloring with vanilla frosting. I opened the frosting and dribbled in a couple drops of red, then a couple drops of yellow.  I stirred.  I added a couple drops of red.  I stirred. I continued adding drops and stirring, and I stared down in disbelief at my frosting.

“What’s taking so long, mom?” the kids whined impatiently.

“Sorry guys. I’m just trying to turn the frosting orange,” I replied.

“You just add red and yellow,” 6 directed confidently. “Red and yellow make orange.”

I checked the directions to be sure.  6 had it right.  But, still, twenty minutes and two whole bottles of food coloring later, I presented the children with a tub full of frosting in a salmony, melon shade that reminded me of my favorite spring sweater.

“Why is it pink?” demanded 6. ”It’s supposed to be orange. Pink monsters won’t be very scary.”