The rats in the food freaked me out.

Or, alternatively, Two Milestones.

Milestone One:  Kong’s First Movie. 

All five of us went to our first movie together.  We saw Ratatouille, with the expectation that I would leave with Kong, age two, if he ran out of attention.  Things went well … through the previews.  He sat quietly, intent on the screen, thick square feet barely hanging over the edge of the movie chair, arm-pit deep in my bag of popcorn. After the previews there was a short animated film.  He continued to watch and announced, quite loudly, to the whole theater that the character in the film had shown his butt (by simply pointing and cheerfully yelling “BUTT!” at the appropriate time).  

Twenty-five minutes after we arrived, the movie finally started.  Unfortunately, that’s exactly when Kong finished my popcorn.  He threw the bag on the floor and turned his big brown eyes at me.  I offered him my Sprite.  We got about halfway through the movie by passing the big cup of Sprite back and forth.  He would take a sip, make a big production of putting it back in the cupholder, pause, and then repeat the process, throwing me a proud grin each time he completed it successfully.  All was well.   Until he finished the Sprite. 

About the time the rat was digging around in the soup du jour, Kong was throwing his shoes at the people in front of us and falling out of the seat.  So we took a break.  We walked around the lobby, and he pointed toward the theater screaming “Rat-a-tat-oo-ee.”  I did what any good mom would, of course.  I immediately bought a large bag of Skittles as bribery, and we returned to the movie.  The people in front of us sunk a little lower in their seats.  The Skittles bought me a few more minutes, but by the time the food critic was making his climactic visit to the restaurant, I surrendered, and we waited in the video arcade for the rest of the crew.

Maybe we’ll try again when he’s three. 

Milestone Two:  5’s first joke.

5 has his sixth birthday coming up at the end of summer, and he’ll start kindergarten in the fall. The milestones have been flying by me lately as the independence of school age is a strangely new and uncharted territory.  Suddenly my baby boy is doing things like making his own toaster breakfast and turning on the shower.  He corrects my math, breaks into the lyrics of songs I’m sure he’s not heard more than once, asks ridiculously difficult questions about theology, and nearly reads.  It’s crazy, but Friday- well, Friday on the way to the movie, he delivered his first real joke. 

Of course he’s been attempting comedy for awhile.   He tells endless, pointless knock-knock jokes and has been trying for some time to correctly deliver ”Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again.”  We’ve taught him a riddle or a joke or two, and he’s repeated them to others, timing slightly off.  But, Friday, as we walked into the movie, he mastered his first piece of original comedy. …

“Mom, I’m not sure we should see this movie,” he said, smiling slightly, eyes asparkle, “since we haven’t seen the first one.”

“The first one?” I asked, right on cue.

“Yeah, Rata ONE ee,” he delivered, as he buckled over in an uncontainable giggle. 

According to hubs, this is the kind of geeky joke that’s right up my alley.  Must be, because it gets me every time.

Posted in Mom at the Movies | |

Pop Goes My Heart.

You know I’m not much of a critic.  I’ve tried before, but I think the problem is that overall I’m just too easy to please.  I like everything. With that disclaimer in place …

Saturday we went to an early evening matinee of Music and Lyrics … me and sis and some girlfriends of hers.  There was a big buttered popcorn, and a large 1/2 cherry, 1/2 diet coke, and some Squirms.  No kids.  No worries about whether hubs would like the movie. Just girls and food.  

When the movie started with a fun parody of an 80’s pop video starring Hugh Grant as the has-been 1/2 of an 80’s group called ‘Pop’ I was hooked.  The fact that Kristen Johnston played Drew Barrymore’s older, married-with-children sister, living vicariously through her little sister’s romantic life, struck a chord with us. (Although I did notice that Johnston’s towering frame dwarfed Drew in some scenes to the point I had difficulty believing the two could legitimately be related).  

Thematically, Music and Lyrics simultaneously parodies and embraces the simple and sweet pop lyric, pointing out that nothing makes you feel better than the right combination of a good melody and a sweet line about love.  Similarly, even as the movie is formulaic and predictable, it successfully combines the right elements of the romantic comedy to make you leave with a smile, and I quite enjoyed it.  If you want to read a real review – some reviewers agree, and others do not.

Other notes on the weekend … in an effort to include everyone’s advice  … Saturday night I chose the swirly margaritas, Sunday night I went with the expensive martinis, which required a Monday morning Mountain Dew. I also spent way too much money on new underwear, pajamas and the cutest sundress I won’t wear for at least three months (extravagant spending while shopping is a hazard of visiting Sis).

We watched at least one large chunk of the following movies on cable:  Now and Then, A Walk to Remember, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Pretty Woman.  We did stop to consider at what age I need to stop lusting after the male lead in a high school romance.  Fearing I may be long past the point of no return, we left the question unanswered and moved on to wondering what happened to Shane West after he appeared as the only value in A Walk to Remember?

Oh, I also listened intently while several young, cute, childless women explained to me about how they plan to avoid pregnancy weight by simply staying really healthy during pregnancy.  I just nodded and smiled. Some of the secrets of mommyhood are best kept to ourselves, right?      

Posted in Mom at the Movies | |

The Go Fast Boats Go Oh So Fast.

I had a date this weekend. A real, honest-to-goodness get-a-sitter-go-out-to-a-movie date. We wanted a movie that was for grown-ups, perhaps rated R, but nothing too draining of emotional energy. My husband had already seen Ricky Bobby…and he loves me, but I think the dance movie was out of the question…So we saw Miami Vice.

What does it say about the movie (or perhaps about me) that I laughed through pretty much the whole thing? I couldn’t help it. I just kept getting the giggles.

First, there were the lines like this:

“Those boats,” says Isabella, the hot drug lordess, in a sexy eye lock with Crockett, pointing at the boats (that are apparently actually CALLED GO-FAST BOATS) “How fast do they go?”

“Fast” responds Crockett “They Go Fast.”

Then they hop into the boat and cruise off to Havana where Isabella (who must keep spare outfits and cute pairs of earrings in her purse so she can change when she runs into hotties who whisk her away) knows someone who makes a great Mojito. (Which works out well because apparently Crockett is a “fiend for a Mojito.”)

Then there is the repeated rhyming of the words ‘crime’ and ‘time’: (e.g. “If we don’t do time with you, we don’t do crime with you.” And “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”)

Despite my giddiness and giggling (likely due in large part to simply being out of the house) I actually thought it was a good movie. It refrains from the campiness of movies like Dukes of Hazzard and Starsky and Hutch, and it tributes the TV show in an authentic and updated way. Like the series, the plot is vague and the dialogue is cheesy, but the stars are pretty and the action’s intense. And …well, if you don’t take it too seriously, you just might have some fun.

The only question I’m still struggling with… Does Farrell’s hairdo in the film count as a mullet?

Posted in Mom at the Movies | |

Thank You Jesus for My Smokin’ Hot Wife.

Late, but as promised – my vicarious review of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

In case you haven’t been paying attention, I haven’t seen the movie (3 under 5). So, I can only give you my impression of my husband’s impression of the movie. And, despite my enthusiastic interview with my connection to the Ricky Bobby demographic, I was getting a lot of answers along the lines of: “It was pretty good.”

With further prodding I deduced: it is more Anchorman than Old School; Ferrell is spot-on; the supporting actors are impressive in quantity and quality; the wife really is pretty hot; and the French rival may be a bit much. Apparently, the humorous effect of the placement of songs in the soundtrack is particularly impressive.

Despite what I thought was a rather lukewarm report, after we went to bed he kept disrupting my attempts to sleep with seemingly unprovoked giggling followed by quotes from the movie.

All of which leads me to believe that it is the usual Ferrell – perhaps a bit over-the-top as a whole product, but dead funny as the sum of the parts. Anyone else want to weigh in?

Posted in Mom at the Movies | |