Where the Green Grass Grows…

On the Mommy Track it’s easy to spend a lot of time thinking about the things I miss about work. Sometimes my longing for a solo trip to the bathroom, an uninterrupted telephone conversation, or an assistant to file those important papers overwhelms me. In fact, there are days I’d trade the doctor’s appointment on the calendar for a losing motion before a cranky judge, just for a change of pace. After all, as they say, the grass is always greener on the other side.However, in my ongoing (and occasionally successful) quest to maintain an atmosphere of positivity, I took a minute today to jot down a few Things I Can Do At Home That I Couldn’t Do At Work…

• Chase my assistant down the hall, throw him on the floor and blow kisses on his belly until his infectious giggling turns to near-hysterics.
  
• Wear sweatpants and slippers to a picnic lunch in the middle of the lunchroom floor to watch a spontaneous afternoon showing of Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus.
  
• Have all the lawyers on my floor line up to play Simon says, make them walk like penguins, growl like bears, spin like ballerinas and then send them shamefully back to their offices when “Simon didn’t say.”
  
• Negotiate settlement in a big case merely by proffering the plaintiffs a bag of Scooby Doo fruit snacks and an apple juice cooler.
  
• Wash opposing counsel’s mouth out with soap when he is rude, disrespectful or offensive.
  
• Tear the cushions off the conference room chairs to build a fort, knock people over and stand up on the table chanting “I’m the King of the Castle, You’re the Dirty Rascal.”
  
• Debate the finer points of whether Obi-Wan or Anakin is a superior wielder of the lightsaber and which is the preferred version of Gameboy. (Umm, actually I probably could have found some guys in IT for these conversations).
  
• When I run out of good reasons why someone should stay late to help me finish that overdue brief resort to simply “because I said so.”
  
• Get kisses and hugs for no reason at all except “just cuz I love you mommy.”

Posted in Lawyer Life |

Mistakes in Motherhood

By the third kid you really should know that you cannot leave blogger up and the office door open while you attempt to use the bathroom alone with the door closed.

(Really you should know by your third kid that using the bathroom alone with the door closed, much like talking on the phone to your childless friends, is a lost luxury altogether, but I digress.)

It took me awhile. I had to re-start the computer twice before I could even get access to blogger or anything else, but I was finally able to reboot and fix the problem.

Posted in Mistakes in Motherhood |

Edited to Add: Kong Finds the Computer

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Posted in Mistakes in Motherhood |

Thanks for stopping by… but mostly, stay classy.

We drank. We ate. We sat by the pool. We talked about the kids.

We walked. We strolled. We watched the people. We talked about the kids.

We read some books; we went to Sea World; and we checked out the Zoo. We talked about the kids.

We reminisced about our wedding (nine years ago) and pondered what we used to do when we didn’t have the kids.

We took pictures of Shamu and called the kids. We bought the kids dorky San Diego tee shirts and talked about how much they would like them. We planned our next vacation to San Diego - we’re taking the kids.

We just returned from what was in every way a lovely, relaxing, romantic anniversary trip to San Diego. One of the great things about having kids is that you find yourself as giddy and excited about getting home as you were about going on the trip in the first place.

On a separate note: I don’t know if other people have this problem, but we found it impossible to be in San Diego without obsessively quoting Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy.

Posted in Everything Else |